We all have “voices” that play in our head.  While working on a picture frame in the garage, you may hear your grandfather’s voice, remembering when the two of you built a birdhouse together.  As you garden, the sound of your kindergarten teacher’s voice tells you once again how to plant a sunflower seed.  The fragrance of a rose brings a lover’s whisper to your ear…

But there are some not-so-pleasant sounds as well.  An unmade bed shouts with a mother’s criticism – and she’s been gone for a decade.  Dishes in the sink replay a well-worn argument with an ex-husband you still cannot face civilly.  Unfinished projects are a constant chorus of failure featuring the voices of every person who ever pointed out your shortcomings…

It’s time to silence those voices.

Think about your clutter for a moment.  Look at the living room coffee table covered with unread newspapers, empty pop cans, candy wrappers, two or three TV remotes and a sweater. Whose voice do you hear?  Perhaps it is your mother’s voice from when you were a young child as you sat at a similar coffee table watching cartoons on TV.  Maybe that mother is not simply speaking, but screeching, “Can’t you do anything to help around here?  You are so lazy; you are such a slob…”  At that time, you couldn’t retaliate.  You had to submit to the Voice; you had to clean off that coffee table.  But as you did, you said to yourself, “When I grow up, I won’t have to clean off the stupid coffee table.  I’ll show her!”

And here you are, in your very own house with your very own coffee table covered with newspapers, pop cans, candy wrappers, TV remotes and articles of clothing.  But you still hear that Voice.  Every time you see that coffee table, she still shrieks at you; however, now you shout back “NO!! I WON’T CLEAN OFF THE COFFEE TABLE!!”   But you understand the problem, don’t you?  You still hear her, but she can’t hear you.  Keeping the clutter on that table is keeping her there in the room with you.  You haven’t “won” because you are still reacting to her. 

What would happen if you did throw away the trash, hang up the clothes and recycle the newspaper?  What would it be like for you to see a fresh, clean surface, ready for your favorite candle and great-grandmother’s hand-crocheted doily?  Now, instead of the grating, berating sounds of defeat, you hear granny’s creaky laughter as you remember handing her the ball of crochet thread that bounced across the room.  Or the scent of that candle takes you back to the little shop you and your husband visited while on your honeymoon.  No voice is necessary for that memory!!

The same is true if the Voice is a part of a real body impacting your life right now in the present.  It could be your mate who is highly critical of the way you keep – or don’t keep – house.  Maintaining a “passive-aggressive” stance (that is, you don’t do or say anything openly hostile, but you subtly do things that you know will annoy or upset the other person) may make you feel like you’ve “scored”, but the atmosphere of anger and hurt does not make for a very tranquil home.  Perhaps the clutter about you increases as you use the excess of things around you to build something of a physical wall as well as an emotional one.

When holding on to your clutter becomes a power play, you are the one who loses every time.   You hurt yourself far more than the person you hear in your head or even in your home.    Don’t let the Voice keep you down. You deserve clear, uncluttered spaces!  You see, decluttering and having a clean home is not something you do for someone else; it’s a gift you give yourself.  After all, if you had a friend who was struggling with clutter and criticism, you would be the first to roll up your sleeves and help her.  Why not be your own best friend?  Think about what you would say to your friend.  Wouldn’t you tell her to ignore the Voice of criticism; that you’ll help and support her through the tough times?   Can you say that to yourself?

Decluttering can silence the voices of the past.  And while there is no guarantee that current criticisms will cease (there are people who simply find fault with everything, no matter what), the sting can be lessened when the motivation for keeping your spaces fresh and clear is not the approval of others, but your own sense of well-being.

Now, let’s take care of that coffee table…

The big problem is that we don’t wake up to a clean slate.  When we wake up on January 1, 2009, there will probably be a mess to clean up in the living room from last night’s party.  And there will be a trail leading to a kitchen that looks like a scene from Poltergeist.  Dishes everywhere, trash strewn about.  And all the energy we experienced fantasizing about the NEW drains away as we deal with the reality of the OLD. 

We wake up from the magic of the holiday season to the mundane of our ordinary life. And we’re disappointed because, it seems, nothing has changed at all.  Maybe it’s even a little worse than before.

That’s why I like that January is “GET” Organized Month.  It’s not “BE” Organized Month.  If that were the case, then of course we would already feel like we screwed up our best intentions.  But the fact is that we really can’t start over, because, as the saying goes, “It is what it is.”

Okay, so how do we get a handle on becoming organized?  Where do we start when everything is screaming for attention?

One of my favorite quotes is:  You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start now to make a new ending.  When I start to feel overwhelmed, I stop and say, “What if I were really organized?  How would I handle this situation?”  Oftentimes, we are so caught up in trashing ourselves and getting depressed and angry, that, instead of channeling what energy we have for accomplishing something positive, we use it all up berating ourselves and our circumstances.  Rather than jumping in and getting something done, we give up and hope tomorrow will be better.

So stop it already!  It doesn’t matter if every room in the house is screaming for attention, we can only do one thing at a time.  Multitasking is a myth.  Somewhere in your mind, one area of your life cries out louder than the others.  That’s where you start.  If there truly is so much clamor that you really can’t hear any distinction, start at the front door.  Set a timer for 15, 20 or 30 minutes and deal with what is right in front of you.  Do coats need to be hung up? Shoes put away?  By taking positive action, you can change the whole tone of your psyche.

In reality, getting organized is not actually a goal in and of itself.  Being organized (that is to say, acting in a logical, methodical way) is a foundation for accomplishing all our other goals.  The future is unwritten, no matter our past.  Lay a brand new foundation now and begin to build your best year yet!

Happy New Year!  Brenda Spandrio